What is 'thought broadcasting' and how is it related to 'individuation' in a human?
The first quotation I read from Emanuel Swedenborg's writings contained the words 'double thought' in it. "I feared my double thought would be torn asunder." I paused briefly to wonder what such strange words meant. It was a few years later that I recognized the words actually described what I was experiencing when I read them. I formed another name for the doubleness: second under lying contexts, and a Jungian psychiatrist told me that was an excellent definition. If the concept is difficult to grasp, I believe its a mechanism that makes joke funny but personal experience is necessary for a joke to be funny.
Somebody said that it couldn't be done, "at least no one has done it.". This is a line from a poem.
When I was 16 years old (1948) our teacher told us she would require everyone to memorize a poem every week from our textbook then recite it to the class. While she was talking I browsed through our literature book and spotted a poem, which I read through once and then twice. I held up my hand and asked to recite my poem now. She laughed as she told me there was no hurry, but I told her I already knew my poem and wanted to recite it so she gave her permission.
I recited the poem I'd read only twice but I recited it perfectly and quite easily. The name of the poem is: Somebody Said That It Couldn't be Done by Edgar Guest. This was not typical for me, it was in fact an unusual event except for the impulse itself. It caused me to 'act immediately' and do without hesitation what the impulse contained. In this case it was an impulse to recite a poem I'd read only twice and risk being laughed at. A few weeks or even days later I probably could not have remembered the entire poem.
I thought nothing about it later, in fact I forgot that incident completely. But during the years between 1986 and 1987 (as best I can date it) one line from the poem emerged occasionally into my thought as I went about my work at Boeing in the Fabrication division: "..at least no one has done it.." It occurred often with the word 'ever' included, "at least no one ever has done it", but always with the same memory Every time I experienced these re-generated words, "..at least no one has done it." I remembered how unusual it had been to memorize the poem so easily.
After a time some other words that I'd read in a book in 1982 came into my mind in addition to those words from the poem. I made no connection between the two retrieved memories for a some time during which many events happened that caused me to begin to understand my own mind was at work. These words were telling me something, beginning a kind of conversation and creating information. The added words had been in a small booklet I'd bought and read over a long span time because the content was so strange to me. In general the words were 'when everything was easy, I was with you." This fragment was in a small booklet I'd bought a couple of years prior to 1984, about which I will have to write more in detail in another link. The name of that booklet was The Impersonal Life, my copy was the 10th printing 1895 by the Sun Publishing Co. It cost 25 cents.
The idea that I was doing something that nobody ever had done didn't just pop into my mind as a result of the subtle-not-quite- words of that inner content.
The fragment of poetry and the additional memory from The Impersonal Life returned into my mind occasionally at a time when I was having a very difficult time in my life, due to real world changes that I had to cope with . I believed I'd had a head injury which explained to me changes in my mind and body. I was trying to do ordinary tasks and found it impossible or extremely difficult to do them. Activities that I'd always done without effort were no longer easy to do, they were nearly impossible to do. (That's about when I first read the words 'when everything was easy, I was with you' When the words occurred, I remember feeling that I had indeed lost some skills that I'd had and simple tasks were now strangely difficult to do. "When everything was easy" were retrieved at odd times, they were just words on a page at first, Then I noticed after their occurrence a faint wisp of a few memories from my past seemed to waft behind the words. They were specific memories, bundled somehow, events were retrieved from when I was about 9 years old.. They were incidents when an impulse had caused me to do certain activities, impulse driven, nothing profound at all. But I'd learned something from that impulse that I later read about or learned in another way. One memory was of reading a definition of a moebius band, then making one. As I looked at it wondering what could be the use of such a thing, the thought occurred: "Cut it around the center." which I did and was surprised at the result. The words re-occurred: "Cut it around the center." and I did again cut the band around it. The result of that cut produced a very surprising result two bands joined but separated. The two bands were knotted together but each band was separate.)
At times I felt 'dizzy', literally and didn't know why.
But something else quite intangible, just subtly discernible was attracting my attention and holding it captive. There was a subtle difference in what was outside my eyes, but when I looked carefully I couldn't see any difference. Yet something new was overlaying what was outside of my eyes, it was between me and everything. After a time I knew this 'new thing' was obviously in my head because I looked so carefully and could see nothing different.
This change altered every aspect of whatever happened and every thing that was visible outside of my body, without changing any thing at all really.
Occasionally I experienced an ordinary situation at work that seemed related to thoughts I'd had just before the event,. That made me feel something unusual, I felt 'strange'. A few ordinary events happened that seemed impossible because of the timing with something I just said or had thought and was physically doing at work.
As time passed and events happened at home and in other places, I realized I was having a shared mindset (it has a name but I didn't know it then) with my husband. He actually told me that one day, but I realized he heard and understood the words he'd said to me in a different context than mine! The same words he said to me had two contexts: mine as my normal but a new understanding (interpretation) occurred spontaneously into my mind. ("I cannot do that because it is against my principles." is an example. The word 'principle' was understood in my mind with the definition 'money' rather than the 'principal' that is associated with values, etc'.)
That surprised me very much because this kind of hearing was still new to me so I had no word to describe it then. He remarked there had been a 'role reversal', meaning he was going to retire and I was working then at Boeing, so he meant that I was the wage earner now and he had just told me intended to take a long vacation. We had not discussed this 'role reversal' but I had felt it in my body and had actually tried to talk to him about how I felt. I remember telling him he had 'taken my job away' because I felt a loss, it seemed to be a change that he had made, he was different.
This was only part of a change between us that was never talked about although I tried to talk about it many times. Then I began to notice my body doing things that had been habits he'd had, simple things that had puzzled me. There were several habits that were easily identifiable as familiar habits of his, when I saw my body do them. Amazingly as time passed an understanding of some unusual habits he's had grew in my mind. Mostly they were based in a very young boy's attempts to help a busy mother so she would have time for him!
A part of me saw that there had been a literal, not symbolic exchange of some kind of material that I didn't suspect as to its content until some time passed during which I noticed small details and changes in my mind that were obvious traits and habits of his. Believe me this is not meant to be male bashing, its a factual description of how the changes in my mind, body and thought were experienced by me after 1984 until 1989. That's when I had another mental event that clarified a lot about the real source of the changes. It told me me by an enormous display of a information that this 'thing' was coming through not from people and material world events. An accumulation of new events built up during that span of time.
I'm only selecting one segment and events related to the words in Edgar Guest's poem: "at least no one has done it" and how they developed a new relationships between me and my inner content. What was outside my body and a process that was visible produced new information that accreted into a new understanding and eventually revealed a new language. It basically re-used normal language.
The sense of 'doubleness of verbal content' began to emerge between me and others occasionally at first. I was puzzled but silent about those events, literally speechless for a reason I couldn't have suspected: I didn't know about levels in the mind and how understanding is so automatic; I had to experience the distance between speech and some inner content.
Increasingly I'd felt a real drive that caused me to do things differently, i.e., not rest when I was tired, read non-fictions rather than fictions, be very curious, sometimes intensely fascinated about things I saw and heard in this new way. A sense of urgency began to literally 'drive' me to try to talk to certain people, one in particular, who was someone I barely knew. At some point I felt a need to try to verify with that one person that I'd heard what I seemed to have heard him say. I was driven by a need to get to know this one man, and there was no reason for such a strange need.
When I tried to verify that I'd heard what I seem to have heard this one man and a few other individuals say to me, they were angry or shocked. Yet he continued to seem to act and speak as though he could 'read my mind' and was answering questions I'd not asked or spoken to anyone about!
It was shocking to me, it made me dizzy when they said things to me and did things that directly responded to or related to thoughts I'd had but had not articulated to anyone! It was confusing, almost overwhelming at times.
There was only one person that really said things that addressed directly thoughts I'd had before 1984 but that changed after 1984, in my home. I couldn't talk to one man who was not my husband, he was the man that was so real in the Dream. He was the first person to seem to answer my unspoken thoughts! I had never experienced that before and I felt dizzy literally whenever it happened. Very dizzy at times.
Another unusual factor is that somehow I saw (or an inarticulate part of me saw ) and heard me say things at times that I'd not intended to say and had not thought about myself , and had no reason to say! Noticing that took a long time and many events were sprinkled into my normal every day life during that early phase. It seemed to be caused by a change in my husband that initiated the changes in my body and it was that until after 1989. I felt the changes and tried to talk about them. There were changes in my thought and speech that I noticed myself before I went to a psychiatrist.
I heard myself mention one day to a psychiatrist I'd begun to see in 1985-6 that it seemed to me there is another 'level up there'
This happened : During the sessions it became obvious he was not paying attention to what I was saying. I was talking about not being able to sleep, that was the biggest problem I talked about. It took some time for me to realize a head injury wasn't what he thought was wrong. He was giving me hints and it took some time for me to know that. He asked pointed questions about my husband in several sessions before I began to realize he seemed to be hinting about something, asking questions such as "How is JXX? Is he still so hard?" He asked questions about what I'd done the last evening, if I'd seen JXX. I'd not thought of JXX as 'hard', so that kind of question puzzled me several times when he mentioned my husband. JXX had been present for a few sessions, and he seemed genuinely wanting to know what was causing me so much distress.
One day I heard myself suddenly blurt out something I'd not thought about or intended to say: "You know it seems like I'm seeing the world through JXX's eyes. Its like his viewpoint is sitting on top of mine and I'm looking up through it, out at the world. I feel like I'm seeing the world through JXX's eyes. It looks like there's another level up there."
Then the phone rang so he excused himself to answer it. While I waited I browsed through a book laying on his desk near me. I read anything handy when I'm waiting. This was some kind of dictionary but not Webster's. I noticed one item, read the definition and wondered what it meant: folie aux duex, the same disease shared by two people. When he returned to me I asked what it meant. He read the item, then laughed and slapped his knee as he said: "Say, I'll bet that's what you and JXX have."
I didn't ask what that meant, I don't remember that he said more about what I'd said. He didn't give me any further information and I must not have asked for any. But what I'd read lodged in my mind, never has left and my activities after that were somehow directly linked to 'the same disease shared by two people'. I knew nothing about diseases other than measles, mumps, chicken pox, etc.
It didn't occur to me that I'd said something so strange, that I'd not thought about. I had heard myself speak as though some one else was being heard. That was a new experience to 'hear myself' that way occasionally at first and I didn't think about it when it was no long sporadic because everything was changed. This was too much change to isolate one aspect or attribute, one over arching factor. It was a new normal for me after 1984 and I 'felt' it in my entire body for some time. But I was beginning to have memories retrieved of a few similar (as I noticed later) incidents that had happened in the few years after 1982 with this one man, before I had the dream in which I felt a barrier. I found I could not talk to him but was strangely driven to know him. It was not a romantic need, which was embarrassing to me because what I felt was a body wrenching grief, a terrible pity that I couldn't understand. I realized some people thought I had a crush on him and I felt an intense but stifled need to correct the misinterpretation . That was so painful, its almost impossible to describe
Memories of those events of speaking spontaneously entered into my mind somewhat frequently so only then I was slightly curious about them. Eventually I wondered why I'd said what I'd said in those incidents, words had just come out of my mouth spontaneously. The 'strangeness' arose from every day situations and it emerged slowly until 1984.
I was having a very difficult time then, urgently trying to talk to my husband about problems I was having, how I felt and some things he'd done that made it hard for me to pay our bills. We paid cash for everything and were always cash poor. In addition he'd stopped giving me his paycheck and the income from the few rentals we'd acquired wasn't enough to cover living expenses and utilities.
I was finding out that I got sidetracked always when I tried to ask him why he'd opened a checking account without my name on it and tell him that I couldn't manage on the amount of money coming in. Usually I was left weeping and alone. There wasn't any physical violence from him, except that at times I picked up things and threw them after trying to talk to him, to explain our situation. When I felt misinterpreted and tried to clarify, his response somehow caused me to 'boil'. He sometimes laughed and told me I was 'stewing in my own juices' or that I was supposed to 'eat it, not bat it back', and other remarks that made no sense to me. That kind of event was somewhat common then and I felt terrible when I cleaned up things that often were dear to me. He literally laughed and said I was 'stewing in my own juices' but he's made that kind of remark often in the past at times too. (They were actually important descriptions of what he saw happening between us, symbolic interpretations in the psychological method that I didn't recognize were not consciously spoken. They were not remembered later, but I didn't suspect that! His unconscious level had told me to file for divorce and when I did file, he stormed into the house waving the papers he'd been served, raising his voice telling me that I'd finally gone off the deep end, and asking if I knew how hard life is for a woman my age who has no husband. It would seem I would have told him then that I was doing what he'd told me to do. I didn't suspect that more than one mind spoke through his mouth, and mine responded to what he said so that I couldn't speak my own words. I felt a terrible urgency to get him to say something different so that I could say something different in response! ) We quarreled every day.
At that point in time, every day was like that but we went out often to square dances and in public he was friendly and pleasant to me. Before we got to the dance he would ask questions about the movement's we'd learned the last week . When I tried to describe the sequence it was obvious he'd not thought about them or tried to remember them and that trip turned into the same kind of situation I was having at home. Until we left the car and other people were near, then we were 'friends' until we were alone again.
It was about 1983 that I began to have a powerful and urgent need to get him to say something different, so I could say something different. That need was extremely anguishing and urgent but I could never initiate and maintain what I intended to talk about, I felt sidetracked. No matter what I said or did to try to get along, the result was always the same. He had changed radically and I felt the change in my body and tried to talk about it using my very unscholarly language. "You've taken my job away." He told me I was imagining things.
Then one day he came home and as usual stopped to take the garbage from the closet to put in the stove on his way to the bedroom. A minute later I heard him shout: "Gxx Damn it, Betty, get in here." and some clattering. . I rushed in from the kitchen to see the sack had split and things were on the tile floor. He was calmly picking things up and as he looked up he said: "The sack split." I said "I see that." and turned back to the kitchen. Suddenly I returned to the living room and asked him why he'd shouted at me that way. His face looked puzzled and asked what I was talking about.
I repeated what I'd heard him shout exactly as I'd heard it: "Gxx Damn it, Betty, get in here." His response was an impatient but calm: "Why would I do that? You are imagining things." and he got up to leave the room. Let me mention that he had never said those two words together, he didn't use curse words like that ordinarily.
At about that time I was bothered by a jingle he kept whistling. I asked if he was trying to make me upset, why not whistle something else? He replied that he wished it would go away, he was tired of it himself, it just would not go away and stay out of his mind. Quite suddenly I realized the words to the jingle had a meaning: "What will you do with all the money you save?" It was a McDonalds commercial but the words were being ignored. Who would suspect they were 'talking' to him? I was having serious problems about money by then and I spent hours trying to reconcile a months bank statement, unable to use the adding machine, I couldn't add a column of numbers accurately.
Later we were in Indiana visiting his only brother and family. His wife told me they were having a terrible time, he drank and was very strict with their children, discouraging friendships and keeping them at home. One day she mentioned that her biggest problem was that her husband said things to her and did things that later he denied having said or done. That was a day when I began to realize I wasn't imagining things in my home either.
It was about that time that I went to a showing of The Wisdom of the Dream about C. G. Jung (whom I knew nothing about, but JXX and I had been watching Bill Moyers and Joseph Campbell together. That was a big change because I'd never liked that kind of show. At the theatre I bought some books, Narcissism, Character Disorders and Transformation by Nathan Salant Schwartz and another book The Scapegoat Complex by Silvia Perrera Brinton and The Cassandra Complex by Laura Shapiro. . They are Jungian authors published by Inner City Books but Jung's name didn't mean anything to me.
I had never read such a book or come in contact with the version of Narcissus that was in the book. A lonely female Echo was added to the Roman version. She watched and mourned the loss of a mate while Narcissus gazed on his reflection but didn't recognize it as his own. She repeated the last words he said. That's when I noticed that for some time I'd been repeating the last things JXX said. Usually somewhat jeeringly, sarcastically because what he said was somehow already in my thought. It was as though he was saying something I already knew. Often I used a different response: "Tell me all about it." because what he had just said seemed already there in my thought. I remember that it didn't occur to me to think this 'looked like' mind reading on his part or mine, it was such a new strange kind of incident.
But the literal relationship of the myth to my life at that point, of Narcissus who didn't recognize his own reflection and Echo who repeated the last words he said to his own reflection seeped into my mind. The fact that 'thought' is described by the word 'reflection' occurred to me only then. That fixed my attention on 'literalness''. I had by then been told by a psychiatrist that had been recommended to me that my husband 'means exactly what he says.' He told me in private that he sensed I was confused, wanting and needing validation and he could help me with that. He told me that whatever problems I might have they were not as significant or extensive as my husbands. There was no reason to think my husband had a problem because I knew nothing about psychology or psychiatric ideas or that kind of 'illness'.
That psychiatrist had been recommended to me by the first one I went to. he told me my husband might be able relate to this man , because 'he and JXX have the same personality'. That didn't puzzle me very much at the time but later I felt it was one of the wierdest things that have happened to me!!?? This psychiatrist was Oriental, rather short and if the other psychiatrist had been there to see the difference in the way JXX was with him, he would have perhaps been as surprised as I was: his attitude was extremely authoritative and denigrating to this psychiatrist where it had been respectful, and deferential to the taller, impressively 'white' psychiatrist.
I noticed that this new man did every thing himself, there wasn't a receptionist, he did the billing, made appointments, kept notes, etc. He was a religious psychiatrist which was different, but I didn't know why the literal sense and the normal way I'd heard and understood everything was related to religious ideas.
My mind contained new material, it was obvious to me (at that point) this new 'stuff' came from another person and at that point it had been ejected literally into me in our marriage, it was literally rejected self material, projected 'self material', that had been literally ejected into me. And it knew it had been given away! This material was conscious that it had been given away and it was greif-stricken as well as outraged. I had a distinct sense that this material assumed authority over my body. I saw my body from a detached mindset, I was an audience to my life as well as being forced literally to be an actor in the same drama that was so strangely involving people we knew then and what we were physically doing:.
Square dancing at higher levels required learning to see my self in a way I'd never done or knew could be done. I had to learn to visualize my body as it moved through the ever changing patterns and I had to learn to dance with phantoms that could be added to the set! That's when I really began to have trouble, dancing with people who were not physically present forced me to try to use my mind in a different way. I began to try to see in a different way, to dance with phantoms required visualizing in my mind their ever changing positions. At some point one of those not quite words yet thoughts occurred that told me I had to subtract my self from what was outside my body.
The result of this exchange/role reversal was simple but more complicated than I can describe except that 'mountains became molehills' in my husband's mind as a result of the ejected 'stuff'. He became 'care' free and relaxed! However odd it may seem that didn't change anything in how he related to me. From being a 'worried mind' he became 'care free' and my 'empty head' was 'full of thought'. Literally. From being so filled with negative reasonings that made it almost impossible to make a decision, now it was not necessary to do anything, everything was perfect, everything was as it should be. I lived in a state of mind where it was not possible to choose differently than I'd observed him do for several years in many ways.
Once he made a decision it was unchangeable. This was a drastic change but I was the only person that could see and feel the results. I felt twisted literally.
He switched almost over night from being focused on small details, noticing everything, being 'worried', concerned with all possibilities; all kinds of reasoning and arguments had to be considered. It had been nearly impossible to get a vacuum cleaner and necessary things that make a home.
As time passed I noticed several details that eventually couldn't be ignored: My thought was 'colored' with his mothers characteristics, tonalities of her voice and other of her habitual content. I noticed my self do things I'd seen him do that had puzzled me. This 'seeing myself' was a kind of perception of what I was doing, but not of my actual body, it was a new thing to me. I couldn't have named it 'self observation' even by 1990. Then I noticed a kind of information about why he did those things emerged in my mind, not quite as thought words when I 'saw myself do habits I'd observed in him'; it seemed he was a small boy doing those things to help his mother, so she'd have time to be with him. But also because he wanted to help. He had 5 sisters older than he, this was in Amsterdam and the Germans were threatening. Their money was devalued and as he told me at times a person couldn't buy a loaf of bread with a wheel barrow of Dutch money.
Other incidents that he'd mentioned had happened in his family that had an influence on him afterwards were 'explained' in my mind, not in words but something that I have to use words to describe. This was new also. He'd never wanted insurance for instance and this resistance had it's origin after his father died because as a small boy he'd heard family quarrels over the insurance, and he'd decided that wouldn't happen to him. His resistance to acquiring anything was 'explained' in the same way.
My 'normal' activities had been reduced to second place by this 'other influence'. I remembered how easily I had done what was now very difficult and I kept trying to regain what I'd lost, trying to keep everyday activities going, but that however was impossible.
At about this point in time I had begun to believe my body was being controlled by my mind/brain which was forcing me to do what would repair itself and restore what I'd lost. That made sense to me in the context that I believed I'd had brain damage in an accident. My car had been totaled out and my head had been slammed up onto the roof of my car. I had read that the brain can repair itself, so the sense of having lost all control of my body, the sense of being controlled from afar linked up to that information.
The new 'flow' of circumstances was noticeable because I felt very different at times, very uncomfortable because of some effect that caused me to literally feel dizzy. But the thing was invisible itself. Eventually there was a dim sense of an emerging reference to certain memories in my past, only a few of them but they had re-occurred into my thought after the actual event had happened. I wondered about these recurring memories to myself, but never said anything about them specifically to anyone until I was well into my fifties. Most of these events happened before I was 13 years old. They were 'strange attractors' that caught my attention before 1984 but I only wondered to myself why they re-occurred into my mind.
I became aware later, that these re-occurring memories had been named and described by Emanuel Swedenborg as 'remains'. Petr D. Ouspensky mentioned that he had experienced 're-occurring memories' and that those memories were important, most important in his life.
One of my early life events had been the impulse to make a moebius band then discover its hidden forms. An impulse caused me to 'cut it around its center' and I was surprised at the result. The impulse repeated and I obeyed without hesitation. The result of the second cutting produced two bands that were separate but inseparable without cutting them apart. The first form of the moebius band is the figure 8, which was my 'doodle' when I doodled.
The drawing of a moebius band on the cover of The Anatomy of Reality by Jonas Salk was enough to cause me to buy the book, but it was some other 'drive' that caused me to read a book that I would not ordinarily have chosen at all to read. A thought came into my mind as I read the book and I recognized that I had read the words in that thought in an article in a woman's magazine when I was much younger. The words were: "Schizophrenics and mentally ill people quite often begin to read books that are far above their education and social level."
The sentence recurred to me again when I went to hear Paul Davies, then later to hear Roger Penrose lecture at Kane Hall. The room was crowded with individuals and many of them looked like they had not finished high school; older men, ragged young males sometimes carrying packs that indicated they lived on the streets which was by then becoming common. A woman sitting next to me remarked that it was odd to see uneducated people attend a lecture that should interest only a very few students and professionals. I told her that I'd read every book Paul Davies had written after reading Other Worlds.
To return to where I began : "At least no one has done it." was abstracted from my past and 'said' to me. That's a pattern that I had to discover when it repeated many times. That my own mind was 'using' my past to 'talk' to me was so unusual and unthinkable, that only after many similar events happened, I was forced to think that this kind of retrieval created an artificially generated 'voice'. It's really artificial intelligence literally. That it was a fragment of a conversation that was just beginning, was an idea that had to be experienced in many events over decades of time before I could begin to believe such a thing could happen and I was not creating that body of information myself. .
The word 'it' being as it is, non-specific, the task that 'no one ever has done it..' can be any task. Yet the words are the most restrictive, the most confining words. There are no more specific words than: "At least no one ever has done it."
The abstracted fragment seemed to speak to me, the way a person would speak and this was very strange then.
I was trying to understand what the new 'influence' was. I was watching as it produced activities in me that were quite different than 'normal', at least for me to do. There was a new kind of 'event' happening and I saw my body do things as though I were detached from my own will and intents. Along with the new activities a distinct change in my passivities was clearly evident. Their content, not necessarily the habit itself basically reversed, exactly into their opposite. I had not read non-fiction books with any interest, but now the habit of reading almost constantly remained unchanged but the content of the habit reversed so that I could not choose to read anything fictional very often. In the past I had no problem taking medication but suddenly I could not take any medication, even when it was prescribed. These changes are quite easy to detect in myself, but I noticed also this same 'reversal of polarity' between activities and passivities in another person what was very, very close to me.
In Jonas Salk's book, The Anatomy of Reality I read words that I'd not thought about before and they were not difficult to understand. He wrote that nothing happens except in a binary interaction, there is nothing that occurs except through 'two'.
That a binary unit is 2 = 1 seems very easy to grasp.
In a squaredance set, the unit (1) = 8 people but the 'unit' is another way of looking at the set which has 8 individuals in it, They operate as 2 units of 4 individuals in addition to being a single unit of 8. There are 4 binary units of 2 individuals that remain intact throughout the dance as to their original position at the beginning of the set. However every step in the dance forms new binary relationships that are always changing.
The dance is a combination of stability and instability, constant change itself is evident in the form of a square-dance set. This is a living model of certain ideas in quantum level physics. The basic square dance set is also 'like' the I Ching, chess and certain psychiatric concepts about projections. Symbolic representations, or 'doubleness of thought' in an individuation process is so full of variables, I hope I can give some other examples to show what it's like.