At about the time this event happened, I was struggling to learn
the 'times tables', by writing them on paper and then reciting them to myself.
I had a good reason to be passionate about learning them..my dad
made me recite them every night in front of my family, so you can imagine
sisters and brothers' giggling, snickering while
I stumbled through them..

Think of being 9 years old and driven by
desperation. As I looked at the paper with the times tables up to
10, written painstakingly in full detail:

1 x 1 = 1 1 x 2 = 2 1 x 3 =
3 1 x 4 = 4 1 x 5 = 5 1 x 6 = 6 1 x 7 = 7 1 x
8 = 8 1 x 9 = 9 1 x 10 = 10

1 x 2 = 2 2 x 2 = 4 2 x 3 =
6 2 x 4 = 8 2 x 5 = 10 2 x 6 = 12 2 x 7 = 14 2 x 8
= 16 2 x 9 = 18 2 x 10 = 20

1 x 3 = 3 3 x 2 = 6 3 x 3 =
9 3 x 4 = 12 3 x 5 = 15 3 x 6 = 18 3 x 7 = 21 3 x 8 =
24 3 x 9 = 27 3 x 10 = 30

1 x 4 = 4 4 x 2 = 8 4 x 3 =
12 4 x 4 = 16 4 x 5 = 20 4 x 6 = 24 4 x 7 = 28 4 x 8
= 32 4 x 9 = 36 4 x 10 = 40

1 x 5 = 5 5 x 2 = 10 5 x 3
= 15 5 x 4 = 20 5 x 5 = 25 5 x 6 = 30 5 x 7 = 35 5 x
8 = 40 5 x 9 = 45 5 x 10 = 50

1 x 6 = 6 6 x 2 = 12 6 x 3 =
18 6 x 4 = 24 6 x 5 = 30 6 x 6 = 35 6 x 7 = 42 6 x 8
= 48 6 x 9 = 54 6 x 10 = 60

1 x 7 = 7 7 x 2 = 14 7 x 3 =
21 7 x 4 = 28 7 x 5 = 35 7 x 6 = 42 7 x 7 = 49 7 x 8
= 56 7 x 9 = 63 7 x 10 = 70

1 x 8 = 8 8 x 2 = 16 8 x 3 =
24 8 x 4 = 32 8 x 5 = 40 8 x 6 = 48 8 x 7 = 56 8 x 8
= 64 8 x 9 = 72 8 x 10 = 80

1 x 9 = 9 9 x 2 = 18 9 x 3 = 27 9 x 4 = 36 9 x 5 = 45 9 x 6 = 54 9 x 7 = 63 9 x 8
= 72 9 x 9 = 81 9 x 10 = 90

1 x10= 10 10 x 2 = 20 10 x 3 = 30
10 x 4 = 40 10 x 5 = 50 10 x 6 = 60 10 x 7 = 70 10 x 8 = 80 10
x 9 = 90 10 x 10 = 100

At that point I noticed that the table of 9's had
a nice feature that made it easier to memorize: between 5 x 9 and 6 x 9 the
numbers in the product repeated, but in reverse. 9, 18, 27, 36, 45, 54, 63,
72, 81, 90 .. It was a welcome discovery, very comforting. Then...

...a thought occurred to me: "Add the double
numbers in the products across." Without any hesitation, and somehow knowing
what it meant, I added each times table

across: The result of the '2's was : 2, 4, 6,
8, 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 2..

3,s was 3,
6, 9, 3, 6, 9, 3, 6, 9, 3..

4's was
4, 8, 3, 7, 2, 6, 1, 5, 9, 4...

5's was
5, 1, 6, 2, 7, 3 , 8, 4, 9, 5...

6's was
6, 3, 9, 6, 3, 9, 6, 3 9 ....

7's was
7, 5, 3, 1, 8 6 4 2 9 7 ...

8 's was
8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 9, 8...

9's was
9, 9, 9, 9. 9. 9, 9, 9, 9, 9...

My daughter was in her twenties when I noticed
that her birthdate 4-5-63! 4-,5,6,3,4,5,6,3...Her birthdate is a circular
number too, but why would I not notice it for so long? What brought it to my
attention? I read a book! It was The History of Pi by Petr Beckmann, and in it
I read about the Fibonacci sequence for the first time. It's a series that has
a pattern that repeats forever,

1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34... can you figure out what
the next number will be?

When I read this particular part of the book, I
had just noticed the pattern in my daughter's birthdate. At first I thought
my mother's might have some relationship, but when I read about the Fibonnaci
sequence, my 'tricky mind' saw the first numbers 1 1 2 3 5 , I noticed that
in reverse they were the numbers in my father's birthdate 5-23-11 except the
reversal of

'32' .

It's a kind of 'fact of life' apparently, that numbers that re-occur do mean something, but in my situation the meaning developed slowly. The numbers 651, 156, 256, 265, 751, 157 came into focus over a period of time, in increments that were isolated until quite suddenly a kind of co-alescent event happened to draw them altogether. My first memory (about 1934+) on this planet was the first 'event'. The co-alescing event happened in 1989 when quite by chance I glanced at the back of Petr Beckmann's book, The History of Pi, then I read the copyright statement (ordinarily I wouldn't even notice it) and read "The first 10,000 decimals of 100, 265 calculated in 1962...) and paused then over the 'odd' fact of "100,265". My mind itself paused, I observed because then I was only somewhat aware that I had a mind that had 'busy-ness' of it's own, intents and purposes of it's own was not that distinct in 1989. Then I turned back to the first of two pages of decimals and it happened...thousands of memories and events that had happened throughout my life were clearly drawn upon as a moving display brought out a series of patterns in the first block of decimals an that page that related to the numbers, 1,2,3,2 in my birthdate, in different forms. I understood immediately that not only my life, but the life of many people in my life at that time had been working on an endeavor that began long before any of us were physically born.

The long flow of 'strangeness' that I'd been struggling to explain to myself (and other significant people) had begun almost certainly outside of what we experience as 'Time'.

I intended to give you a bigger picture about 'number significance', but when I start to write it turns into a book. The reason is that no 'fact' about what I'm writing stands alone, like an image in a hall of mirrors reflects to another, than another, every detail arose from another, which arose from yet another.

With hindsight, I think of them as a kind of road marker although that's a simplistic way to put it. A road marker in life can mean more than just a validation you are on a 'road'. I have a hunch there is a particular part of the mind/brain/body that draws certain 'details' into focus, because that's the way it seems to me now. Being born in '32, rather than 33 or some other number turned out to have potentials I don't believe I would of myself, ever have noticed.

It all culminated in an almost mind blowing event
in 1989. When this 'event' happened I almost swooned, literally because all of
the individual events that led up to that event were somehow displayed in my
mind, as a kind of 'unit', like having a very long complicated movie flash
into view, but each frame somehow was visible. (This 'sudden burst of
'knowledge' had happened 3 times prior to this one, but they were not about
numbers.

The number 'string of events' was quite different,
and it was obvious in that 1989 event that even when I struggled to learn the
'times tables' some well pre-planned event had it's beginnings.

I'm trying to work out a way to describe the long
period of 'assembly' during which this 'particular point of attention within'
because I have a hunch other people may have somewhat similar experiences in
the process of 'individuation', or something akin to that.

I hope this is not boring, or irrelevant: